Skydiving

  If you're cutting right now, put down the blade. If you're scratching right now, put away the sharp objects. If you're burning right now, let the heated supplies cool. If you're snapping right now, break the rubber band. If you're hurting yourself in any way right now, or even thinking about it, stop. And listen. Please.

  You are loved, charished, beautiful, amazing, funny, a great person, talented, awesome, strong. But you're also hurting. And I get that. But stop. You don't deserve this. No matter what anyone says to you. No matter what you say to yourself. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any more pain than what you're already going through. Wether it's physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual. No one deserves pain brought upon them by themselves or even by other people if there's no real action requiring punishment. Someone loves you. I know you don't feel like that's true. But someone, at least one person, does in fact love you. And if you can't stop for yourself then stop for them because it hurts them terribly to know you do this to yourself. And if you haven't told them yet then please, PLEASE do. Don't worry about them hating you because you wouldn't think of the person you know I'm talking about if you knew they would stop loving you for it. It will hurt them, trust me. But only because they love you and can't stand to know that you can hate and hurt a person as amazing as yourself. So tell them, because they will help you. If not directly then they will lead you to the right people who can help you. I know it's scary, but take it from me it will help. So much. A weight will be lifted off of your shoulders that you didn't know was there.

  Help is always available, you just have to ask. "But I don't want help" you might say. But I know you do. You only say you don't want help because you don't want to ask for it or you're too scared to, or maybe because you don't know how to ask or even who to ask. But if you're tired enough of what you're going through you will know who to ask. They will come to mind. Even if you think the person who comes to mind is an unlikely chance, still try. It will be scary and you will want to quit and go back to your old ways but that's natural. You're used to doing what you do and you're getting out of your comfort zone.

  Think of it like skydiving: you're in the plane and suddenly you're jumping. You're scared you might not make it through and you want to go back and, while you can in your situation, you can't while skydiving, which means you shouldn't in your situation. You're scared, but once you get through the scary part and the parachute opens you feel safe. And you're starting to relax. And though it seems like you're safe, you still need to be careful, because right at the end when you're doing great you'll reach the point where you need to land and you'll get worked up, "What if something goes wrong and I land too hard and get injured or worse..?" You can get worked up again and everything will seem horrific, when in reality, it's not. But you'll still feel scared. Hold on, stay strong and steady. Cause you will make it through. When your feet touch the ground and you're safe at last and healed from your old ways you will feel so amazing and rejuvenated. Now, I'm not good at ending things so I'm just going to leave it at this: read this as many times as you need. Read it as you're on your way to the ground from that plane. Read it after you're safe on the ground. Because it will always help. No matter what stage of life you're in. I love you. So many people love you. Stay strong. I'm sorry I made this so long but I needed to get it off my chest. Spread this like wildfire, you could save a life by sharing.

- Abigail Arnold, a friend to many, many people just like you going through the same things.