Vanilla

Prolouge

This is it, the dream I am always dream of when night has come, when I put my blanket over my toes and chest, and when the lamp had been shut off, this is it but I consider it as a nightmare. It is dark, black, and gloomy, nobody is here. I hope this is just a part of a long dream that I dreamt when the night has fallen. I hope there always be tomorrow for me, but I feel like century in this single dream, sometimes I feel, I am not really sleeping yet I am not really waking up, that's the strange part. Am I really dreaming?

I heard someone's voice in the distance, but I don't recognize whose voice it is. I tried to remember and I tried to recognize, but I can't. Sometimes I feel like something is wrong, this dream has been drag so long, why I am sleeping this long?

I'm so confuse why am I feeling so alive in my dream? It's like I am in a very quirky state where is I am half-asleep and half-wake, this is all confusing. Am I dreaming? I looked around, I saw nothing, I feel nothing and I heard nothing, not even her voice and suddenly my chest hurt, it feel like somebody had stab on my chest, literally my heart had stop pumping oxygenated blood to my whole body and my head is hurt, my sight is blur, I heard humming voice near my ear, I feel dizzy and I collapse on the floor, alone.

'Ahhhh' I heard my voice in a very painful state, jagged and uneven breathing pattern, I put my hand over my chest, my heart hurts, it feel like, my chest had been push for a few times and I heard a very loud humming sound near my ear, and that's when I feel really sleepy, everything around me is becoming blur, the voice is no longer heard and that time I fell asleep in my dream. Forever.

The dream kept coming to me, haunting me, every single night, and I just can't remember whose voice is that. I lost my dad in the accident that happen three years ago, I had been in the hospital bed, comatose state for two months and when I wake up, I had amnesia, I lost my memory , I can't remember what happen three years before the accident. I did regain my memory back, yet I can't remember whose voice that keeps coming into my dream.

The accident teaches me a lot of thing, such as how to live on my own. My mother can't accept the fact that my dad is gone and she had gone through some serious depression. We, once, had a happy family, and then everything changes. I am just fifteen when this is all happen. I need someone to comfort me, but no, I found myself comforting my mom. She has a stable job, a lot of saving in her account, but when this is happen, she started to take drug and alcohol. I am just lucky because I have a place to live in.