Letters and Liaisons

Leaving

Catherine couldn't sleep. Mary was leaving for Scotland the next day and she thought maybe if she never went to sleep...tomorrow would never come. She knew it was crazy, but she couldn't help it. The thought of her leaving scared the hell out of her. She'd known since the moment Francis told her he was dying that Mary would be leaving her soon, but it never felt real to her until now. Just like Francis' death really hadn't felt real until that first morning without him. It was the strangest thing. She couldn't really pinpoint when it had happened, but somehow, she'd become very attached to her. In away she hadn't predicted. Of course they were close when she was a girl, she'd loved her, she never really stopped to be honest, but this was different. it wasn't just love for the child she'd raised, it was the love for her friend, her family. She'd become almost closer than family as of late, something Catherine never thought possible, especially for someone whom she thought, for at least a little while, that she could never forgive. No one in her whole life had ever fought as hard for her as Mary had, even after all she'd done to her. After all they had done to each other. Somehow she knew, she understood. Mary always understood, even when she didn't agree, she could see the reason behind it. The one thing her own children could never do.

Mary couldn't sleep either. She would have to leave the only home she'd ever really known, the only people she had ever really thought of as family, she'd have to leave Catherine. They shared something strange the two of them. A bond of sorts that was hard to explain, but was easily understood by both. She had cared for her as a child in ways her own mother never had. She'd also shown more sympathy toward her the times when she needed a mother the most. Times when Marie de Guise had turned a cold shoulder to emotion. She'd always felt safe when Catherine was near, which was an odd thing to say about a woman who'd once tried to kill her. But now Mary was terrified. She wasn't quite sure what she would do without Catherine. How was she supposed to function through a day without her scheming and sarcastic remarks? How would she get through the hard times without knowing that Catherine had her back when things got rough? Because she always had. Catherine was a force of nature when she was on opposite sides of her, but even then, she'd never let another person hurt her. She'd always protected her from the world, even when she wasn't protected from her. She had been the only thing to keep her going since Francis had died. Suddenly she felt like a six year old girl all over again, waiting for her mother to leave her in a strange place.

Catherine laid on her side, eyes shut, trying to hard to sleep, when she heard the door creak open. She sat up just a little to see Mary standing there. They looked at each other and they understood, just as always. Catherine lifted the blanket and Mary climbed in with her. She put her head on Catherine's shoulder.

"Catherine I'm..." she began.

"I know." she said simply as she placed her head on top of Mary's and hugged her.

The next day, much of the court gathered in the throne room to say their goodbyes to Mary. Mary had tried to say goodbye to Catherine earlier, in private, but she wouldn't let her. Catherine stood off to the side and watched her tearful farewell to her cast off lady in waiting, Greer, and a few others. Mary had said goodbye to everyone except Catherine now. Mary turned to her and went to speak, but Catherine turned away, pretending she hadn't noticed, and clinked a glass to get the rooms attention.

"We say goodbye to Queen Mary today. She was not our Queen for very long, but that did not diminish the impact she had on all of us. She and my son, your late King, did all they could to rule with love and honesty. Somethings many rulers tend to forget exist. Somethings, that because of her example, I will do my best to continue on. You may be hundreds of miles away Mary, but your prescience will always be felt here in French court. Here's to Queen Mary. May you see a safe return." she said lifting her glass. She gave a sad look to Mary and Mary gave one back. They understood.