Chapter Twelve
Chapter Playlist! :)
"Settle" by Two Door Cinema Club
"To Build A Home" by The Cinematic Orchestra (yes, again)
"Turning Page" by Sleeping At Last
"Love" by Daughter
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"let's go to the beach."
"what?" Harry looked up from his pre-cal textbook, absentmindedly chewing on his pencil and occasionally biting his lip in concentration.
"yeah, come on," Louis said, a bit louder, sitting up straight from his position next to his boyfriend on the Rooftop. "it'll be fun! we haven't been in ages and you need to get away from your studies for a bit."
"you sound like my mum," Harry chuckled. "I haven't even been studying for long! I've just started!"
Louis narrowed his eyes and tugged lightly on Harry's shirt. "thirty minutes is much too long, Harold. come onnnnnnn," he drew out, whining and pulling Harry to his chest. "pleeeease? it'll be so much fun!"
"well...." Harry looked at Louis for a minute and then brushed his hair aside, kissing his forehead gently. "I guess so. but you're driving."
"perfect," Louis grinned, squeezing Harry in a bone-crushing hug and scrambling off the Rooftop, bustling into his room to change clothes.
Harry smiled softly, humming low as he watched his boyfriend through Louis' bedroom window. then he touched his shirt, subconsciously pulling the sleeve down over his fingers and holding it there tightly. his self-harming was getting worse; over the past few days, he had burned himself countless times and his arms were covered in awful-looking marks.
how am I supposed to go through with this? beach means swimming and swimming means taking off my shirt and taking off my shirt means...
Harry shuddered slightly before laying his textbook and calculator on the Rooftop and crossing his arms over his chest and squeezing his eyes shut.
I can't do this
yes you can. it'll be fine.
no it won't. if Louis finds out he'll kill me; he'll be so disappointed. he'll hate me forever.
no he won't, he'd understand, he would love me even though--
no, you're lying to yourself, Harry. he's going to hate you if he finds out. you're disgusting.
"Harry?"
he opened his eyes to see Louis, changed into a pair of bright blue swim trunks and a white tank, crouching next to him, concerned eyebrows scrunched up in the middle and tiny fingers smoothing over Harry's hair.
"are you alright? what happened, baby? you're all....you look so scared," Louis murmured, cupping Harry's chin to lift his head up.
"it's okay, I was just...thinking. about school. it's a lot of work," Harry stuttered slowly. "I've got, erm... a report due in a few days. lots of coursework."
Louis narrowed his eyes and took both of Harry's hands. "are you sure? you'd tell me if something was wrong, yeah?"
"yeah," Harry assured him, lying and cursing himself for not telling Louis how he really felt.
Louis drew back, still running his thumb across Harry's soft skin between his fingers. "alright," he finally replied after a minute or so of silence. meeting Harry's eyes, he said, "I care about you, you know. I love you."
