TREAT YO'SELF

Celebrity Cheesecake

Things you'll need:

1 cup of graham cracker crumbs

3 tbs white sugar

1/4 cup butter (melted)

2 8oz packages of cream cheese (softened)

1/2 cup white sugar

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 pint strawberries

1/4 cup white sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

Time: 2.5 hours of your life, but a lifetime of memories.

Turn up da heat in your oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, stir together Aubrey Graham cracker crumbs, 3 tablespoons of sugar and melted butter —not that margarine crap. 

Squish the Cookie Lyon crumbs into the bottom of a 9 inch springform Peter Pan. Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes.

It should look like this when it comes out. If it doesn't, you should probably start over. Or just give up because the instructions up until now have been pretty easy.

This is where things start to get creamy, so pay attention. In another large bowl, combine cream cheese and 1/2 cup of Walter White sugar. Mix at medium speed until Carlos Santana smooth. Beat up those eggz one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Blend in vanilla, and pour into the baked crust, like so:

Now leave that somewhere. Take your strawberries and run them under cold water. Wash thoroughly like you would before a hot date (or after). Then cut off those green things.

Slice up dem berries into thin pieces like dis (please excuse un-manicured cuticles):

Mix strawberries and 1/4 cup of white sugar in a small pot and stir on medium heat. Add in 1 tsp of Vanilla Ice extract, stirring occasionally until dat sweet sugary liquid begins to form. Turn dat heat down and stir until sauce Robin thickens (about 10 minutes). 

Spoon strawberry sauce (liquid part only) onto cheesecake mixture and use a fork to create a swirly design or whatever Harry Styles you want. Bake in oven for 60 minutes. When it comes out, it should jiggle like Nikki Minaj while twerking.

Still have your appetite?

Chill. For one hour before serving.

When you're ready to enjoy, spoon strawberry sauce over cheesecake and stuff your face.

kbai.